


Gay Apparel

by ideallyqualia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Universe, Christmas, Comedy, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2849060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyqualia/pseuds/ideallyqualia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto and Kuroo are not above wearing ugly festive sweaters, repeating crappy catchphrases, and terrorizing everyone else at a Christmas party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gay Apparel

Kuroo, out of the deep kindness of his heart, organized a holiday party for Nekoma's team and invited Bokuto and Akaashi to join them, knowing that the two would appreciate the gesture and (maybe) liven it up enough to get Kenma to actually talk. Akaashi alone couldn't, but he was necessary if they wanted Bokuto, and Kuroo wanted Bokuto. 

What he didn't want was Kenma ignoring all of his efforts and remaining as indifferent as ever. Kuroo gave them a dress code:  _hideous_ holiday sweaters, and it had to be obvious that it was for Christmas. Reindeer, a tree, something, along with appropriate colors. Not orange. He had to shoot down Lev's suggestion of wearing a Halloween sweater he got on sale after Halloween was over, which he was thrilled about for some reason. Kenma, meanwhile, didn't have anything to wear that was festive, telling Kuroo that he had a green sweater with a goat on it. 

"No, you can't just glue felt antlers on," Kuroo told him. "That's  _not_ the ugly we're going for, Kenma." 

Kenma wasn't bothered or concerned, but Yaku patted him on the shoulder and offered to lend him one. And Inuoka, bless him, let Kenma borrow antlers for his head, thinking that Kenma really wanted antlers.

Kuroo couldn't convince anyone on the team to host the party, so he decorated his own home, grateful that he had roped his mom into already putting up most of their holiday decorations. The main thing he needed was food, and Bokuto volunteered to bring some of that, saying that he couldn't leave something so important to Kuroo. He was almost insulted, but the fact that Bokuto was as spirited as he was in this silenced him.

And Bokuto delivered. He arrived minutes after Yaku did, and Akaashi was right behind him, both carrying trays of cookies and sandwich platters. As soon as Bokuto stepped through the door, he greeted them with a cheery "Ohohoho!"

"I hate you both," Akaashi said, stepping past. "Where should we put these?"

"Over on that table is fine." Kuroo grinned in appreciation of Bokuto's santa hat, and his sweater was even more glorious, with small plush reindeer sown on. Akaashi had his own santa hat, but he was frowning underneath it, his eyelids at a disinterested slope.

Akaashi halted in his steps, hand on the table. "Does your sweater _light up_?"

Yaku groaned, and Kuroo pressed a button hidden in the clothing, Christmas lights twinkling on. The bulbs stuck out, making its purpose obvious.

"That's awesome!" Bokuto lifted his hand in the air, prompting Kuroo to return the high five.

The rest of the team started to trickle in one by one in the next few minutes, wary of being late. Upsetting Kuroo was one thing, but if Bokuto was present, and was somehow disappointed, then the both of them would be, which was three times as bad. They were on the same wavelength with these kinds of things, feeding off of each other's happiness and misery.

"Are we going to actually do anything, or can we just watch movies all night?" Taketora asked. "Nishinoya told me about--" 

"If we watch anything, it's going to be a Christmas movie," Yaku said. "Not…whatever Nishinoya recommended."

"A movie to start off sounds fine," Kuroo said. He turned and pulled Kenma's phone out of his hands, clucking his tongue and shaking his head. "No video games or phone apps." 

"Yeah, you shouldn't waste your time with your nose in your phone when I'm here. I'm a pleasure to be around!" Bokuto stepped beside Kuroo and shook his head with him. Kenma peered up in confusion, looking between his phone and the TV and narrowing his eyes.

"Hurry up and pick a movie already." Akaashi fell onto the couch and pointed at the television with a lazy arm, sighing as Bokuto sat next to him. Kuroo plopped down in between Bokuto and Kenma, still holding Kenma's phone.

"Now, I'm just going to turn this off." Kuroo turned and wedged the phone in between the couch cushions on the side closest to Bokuto, where Kenma couldn't reach.

"Yaku, you can choose. I trust your judgement."

"Poor sap," Taketora muttered. 

"I can choose a movie just fine, thanks." He went with a classic that he knew Kuroo couldn't refuse, something with a snowman and archaic animation that struck Kuroo in his tiny sentimental heart.

Taketora groaned from his spot on the floor, leaning his hands down behind him. "I've seen this a thousand times already."

"Good! Then you can quote the movie with us!" Kuroo stared down at him with a gleeful expression, and Bokuto slung an arm around his shoulders, his mouth curling in contentment.

"You two are too easily entertained…" Yaku crossed his legs on the floor and let his arms drop, his head turned to the opening of the movie. Lev leaned forward in anticipation, and Inuoka chuckled when he noticed.

Throughout the first few minutes, Bokuto and Kuroo whispered to each other excitedly, mouthing the lines together or adding their own sarcastic comments. They laughed at each other, absentmindedly gripping each other's arms and shoulders after every joke and punch line. Kuroo was thrilled from the start, his hand squeezing Bokuto's elbow. Yaku made a disgruntled noise and flipped the volume up, eyeing them in irritation.

"Good god, please don't say anything," Akaashi said when Santa appeared on the screen.

Bokuto and Kuroo leaned closer to each other, their arms rubbing together as they echoed after Santa, "Ohohoho!"

"I'm going to kick you," Taketora said. "I'm going to get up and kick you."

Bokuto and Kuroo kept repeating themselves, going more and more out of sync as they tried to keep from laughing.

"Ohohoho!"

"Ohohoho!"

"Ohohoh _olycrap!"_

The both of them yelped and jumped up, nearly knocking over the people sitting in front of them as they kicked their feet in the air. They gripped each other's arms and pointed at the couch, and Bokuto's hat fell to the floor.

"What was that?!"

"Something moved!"

Akaashi stood up warily, backing off from the vibrating cushions. Kenma just stared. Lev drew his eyebrows together in thought, and when no one else made a move towards the couch, he lunged over the others to dig his hand into the cushions. He fished out a phone.

"Did you even turn Kenma's phone off? It probably just vibrated," Yaku said, pulling Lev back to his seat. "Must have pressed the wrong button."

Kenma reached over for his phone, his eyes brightening as Yaku handed it to him.

"Alright, I have to see this important text that had to interrupt our movie." Kuroo leaned over Kenma's shoulder, and Bokuto leaned over his, sitting back down as they did.

"'Can you take a picture of Kuroo's ugly sweater?' From Hinata?" Bokuto read. 

"You told him it was ugly?" Kuroo glanced down at his clothes, tilting his head and straightening his mouth into a frown that was twitching too much in the corners to be considered upset.

"Since when does Kenma ever have an opinion?" Taketora asked, his mouth open in awe.

"You told me it was ugly, Kuroo." Kenma swallowed for a moment, quiet, until he raised his phone and snapped a quick photo of Bokuto and Kuroo. 

"It's not the kind of ugly you tell people about like that," Bokuto said, blinking against the flash. "It's an insult only others wearing hideous clothing can say."

"Did you two write a dumb party book together without telling us? Kuroo told us something like that a few days ago." Taketora sighed. 

"This is why I was invited." Bokuto placed a hand on Kuroo's shoulder and lifted his chin into the air.

They all managed to get back to the movie after a few minutes, and Kuroo rewinded back to the part they last paid attention to, despite Inuoka's complaint that he actually listened. Akaashi relaxed into his bored glower, muttering at the events transpiring on screen.

In the middle of it, Bokuto tugged Kuroo's sleeve. "Kuroo, do you think my sweater is  _actually_  terrible, even by ugly sweater standards?"

"Bokuto, yours is the  _best_ worst sweater," he said in reassurance, dipping his head sagely.  "I wish I had yours." He edged closer.

"What? No. I wish I had  _yours."_

"Bokuto, no,  _I_ wish I had yours."

The two of them ended up with their hands gripping each other's sleeves, their heads close enough together that their noses almost touched. Kuroo wrinkled his eyebrows, his eyes narrowing in awareness but not backing down.

"Why don't we switch sweaters, then?" he asked, his mock serious tone chipping away at Bokuto's stoic face. Bokuto broke into a grin.

"Let's do it!" He immediately began to yank it up, his head burying itself in the folds of his clothing. 

Kuroo slapped a hand onto his arm. " _Now?"_

Bokuto paused, his head still hidden under the neck hole. "Why not?"

Kuroo couldn't find a reason why. He glanced down at Bokuto's bare stomach, seeing it for the first time without the rush to get in and out of a locker room, and he looked back up, deciding that that was a bad idea. Really bad. His throat felt dry at the sight of Bokuto's muscles, on casual display from his body curving into the couch.

"Alright, fine." He pulled the sweater over his head, smiling as he heard Bokuto hoot in happiness. He hurriedly shoved the light-up sweater into Bokuto's face, and Bokuto did the same back, smothering him with the plush reindeer. They tugged the hems of their sweaters down, covering themselves once again and looking each other over.

One of them had somehow pressed the button to light the sweater up, and the lights were flickering in different colors. Bokuto stared down in admiration, pinching the material and poking at the light bulbs. Kuroo felt warm at the thought of Bokuto wearing it, his chest and shoulders filling in his sweater in different ways. He inspected his own new clothing, and his throat tightened at the thought of Bokuto's skin underneath this sweater moments ago.

A few minutes later, when the movie ended, Akaashi did a double take, staring at the two of them. "Didn't you two have different sweaters?"

"They switched them," Kenma said. "They changed right on the couch." 

Akaashi closed his eyes and pressed a hand to his forehead, giving a heavy sigh that shook from suppressed laughter. Bokuto smacked him in the arm.

"Don't laugh!"

Kuroo frowned when he noticed the lights still on. "Bokuto, this can't be on all the time." He poked at the button before Bokuto could protest, and he jolted.

"That tickles!" He slapped his hand down. Kuroo pushed it away and placed his hand on Bokuto's shoulder, and Bokuto made to shove it off. Before it could descend into a well-meaning but still painful fight, Yaku stepped between them and shoved the both of them away from each other.

"Alright, the movie's finally over. What do we do now?" Taketora asked. "Snowball fight outside?"

"Not yet," Kuroo said, raising a hand in the air to quiet him. "I have a surprise."

Kenma immediately got up and ran, zipping around the corner and slamming the backyard door open and closed. He kept his hand on his antlers to keep them in place, oddly enough.

"Oh, no, is he bringing out  _that_?" Yaku glanced around, his eyes wide in horror.

The first years sat there in complete confusion, watching everyone run around while Kuroo headed to his room and Bokuto and Akaashi stood there. Akaashi started to walk away, but Bokuto grabbed him by his collar.

Bokuto didn't look perturbed at all, and Yaku thought with a sinking feeling that Kuroo probably told him. Either Bokuto was a masochist, or he was exempt from being the victim. He might have even volunteered Akaashi to do it.

Kuroo returned with a large puffed up bag and a smirk that was way too satisfied. "The world's ugliest Christmas sweater is in this bag."

"It gets worse?" Inuoka asked, and Lev elbowed him. 

"It gets better." Kuroo pulled out a heap of green garland, complete with lights and ornaments embedded in it. Except it wasn't a garland; it had sleeves.

"How the hell is that a sweater?" Akaashi gave a loud groan, ignoring Bokuto's cackling and gasps for air. Bokuto wiped at the corners of his eyes and covered his mouth with his other hand.

"That's great, Kuroo. I had no idea something so hideous existed." Bokuto gave a good-natured swat to Akaashi's shoulder. "You should try it on now, Akaashi."

"Hell no." He knitted his eyebrows together warily, locking his legs as Bokuto tried to push him closer to Kuroo. He leaned backwards, scowling even as Bokuto began to struggle under his weight. 

"Akaashi, come on! Put it on!" He jostled Akaashi's arms, pushing him up and shaking him at the same time.

"Is no one going to save him?" Inuoka asked, quirking his mouth to the side and partially covering his mouth to avoid Kuroo and Bokuto's eyes.

"Are you kidding?" Yaku asked as he leaned back onto the couch, sighing.

"We're just glad that we're safe!" Taketora sat down and raised his hand in the air to cheer, watching Kuroo and Bokuto bully Akaashi into the tree-sweater. 

They succeeded, somehow. They slipped it on over Akaashi's already awful sweater, leaving him incredibly uncomfortable, his arms too stiff to bend much. The rest of it puffed out his middle, adding a layer of unwanted padding. Bokuto chortled and held his stomach, face turning red from laughing. Kuroo then pulled out the finishing touches, a head piece with a large yellow star and empty boxes decorated as presents to place at Akaashi's feet. That final blow sent Bokuto guffawing into the couch, hands clawing at the pillows as he leaned against the back of the seat. 

The rest of the team joined in, most of them shaking and trying to stifle it, but Taketora outright burst into laughter. Akaashi rolled his eyes and shuffled his feet.

"Very funny, haha."

Kuroo stepped back to admire his work, lifting a finger to his chin. Kenma's camera shutter went off again.

"He's like…a very awkward penguin," Lev said. "A penguin stuck in a tree?"

" _A penguin stuck in a tree,_ " Bokuto gasped, banging a fist on the cushions.

Kuroo took a seat next to him, smirking at the result. He was startled by a sudden pressure on him, and when he turned, he was met with Bokuto's hair, his face buried in his neck. He was still trembling with laughter, and an arm made its way around Kuroo's chest, as if Bokuto needed an anchor to not slip out of the gravitational field.

Kuroo began to chuckle, although the novelty of the awful decoration had worn off years ago. His real entertainment came from the reactions of everyone else, especially the poor sacrifice made to appease Kuroo. He bent his head over Bokuto's, reveling in his enthusiastic response.

"Can someone get me out of this now?" Akaashi raised his arms up, helpless to do anything else. Yaku nodded while biting his lip to calm himself down, waving Lev over to yank it up. Once he was free, they let it fall to the floor, and Akaashi stepped on it.

Kuroo leapt forward, leaving Bokuto to collapse onto the couch. He scooped up the garland heap and dusted it off, rolling it around in his hands like a grotesque ball.

"This is fragile, you know."

"I don't care." Akaashi stepped away, snorting and reaching towards the table for a cookie.

Bokuto finally snapped out of his fit, sitting up and spotting Kuroo stuffing the torture equipment back into its bag. He stood up and got closer, peering into the bag and feeling the not-fabric in his fingers.

"This is a true marvel," Bokuto said. "Where'd you get it from?"

"Kenma bought it for me for Christmas one year." He frowned. "He's still outside, isn't he?"

"I'll go get him." Inuoka walked outside, and everyone could hear him say, "No, Kenma, I swear, they're done now."

"Kenma has never regretted anything more in his life," Yaku said with a sigh. "You're so mean, Kuroo." 

"I fail to see the problem. His gift is  _still_ giving, after all these years." Kuroo lifted the bag. "I'm going to go put this back."

Kenma and Inuoka returned as he went to his room, and Bokuto followed Kuroo to the edge of the hallway, talking to him from there.

"Taketora, what is that--"

"Shhh!" he hissed at Lev, snapping his hand behind his back and darting his eyes at the hallway. When he convinced himself that they were distracted, he pulled out his hand, his body shielding it from the side. "This is payback for making me wear this dumb sweater."

Akaashi's eyes lit up. "Oh, thank god. Thank you, Taketora. This is the best thing to happen to me all day."

Yaku fidgeted, coughing and clearing his throat. "Is that such a good idea? What if they get mad?"

"They'll secretly like it, probably. They're stupid like that. Did you even see them on the couch?" Taketora glanced at the ceiling, groaning. "That's too high."

"Just tape it above the couch, right there." Inuoka pointed at a spot in the middle, above the couch. A large picture frame hung above it, which provided enough cover to hide something small.

"And keep it away from me. I don't want it accidentally over my head," Akaashi added. 

"Hurry up!"

"They're almost done!"

"I need tape!" Taketora snapped back. Yaku ran to a nearby cabinet and shoved it into his hand, shaking his head and raising his hands.

"I have nothing to do with this. No one tell Kuroo I remembered where he kept the tape."

Taketora scrambled on top of the sofa and tore off tape, fixing it to the wall. When Kuroo's voice rang around the corner, he jumped and fell off the couch, tape dispenser concealed by both of his hands.

Kuroo and Bokuto returned, the both of them looking at Taketora lying on his back, everyone else surrounding him.

"Is something wrong?" Kuroo asked.

Everyone shook their heads, shrugging as Taketora rolled to his knees. The simultaneous reaction made Kuroo raise an eyebrow, but he ignored it to sit back down on the couch. Bokuto followed.

The whole team, plus Akaashi, watched with attentive eyes, leaning forward. 

"What's up?" Bokuto asked.

Akaashi pointed above them. "Mistletoe, for you morons."

Kuroo and Bokuto jerked their heads up. Kuroo grimaced, and he growled at them, "Who did this? When did this even happen?"

Bokuto hid his mouth under his hand, biting his lip and flaring red for a different reason from earlier. He tried to glare at the same time, but the effect was lost on everyone.

"Who cares? You know what you have to do now." Akaashi crossed his arms, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement.

"I'm not going to kiss Kuroo," Bokuto said. His eyes flitted up apprehensively. "Is that even mistletoe?"

"I bet it's not." Kuroo nodded in agreement, not bothering to check.

"You two already got dressedright in front of each other here for no reason," Taketora pointed out. "Shut up and kiss." 

 

"What did I do to deserve this?" Kuroo asked. "I'm always so nice! I even organized this party!"

"Oh, just come here and get it over with." Bokuto grabbed his collar and yanked him over, sucking in a breath and pushing their faces together. He was still red, but it was clear that he was trying to ignore his discomfort, determined to kiss him and move on.

They pulled apart as quickly as possible, and Kuroo cleared his throat, shoving Bokuto's face away. "Alright, you've had your fun, guys." He tried to be nonchalant, but his effort to avoid Bokuto's eyes was noticeable. 

"Stupid mistletoe." Bokuto stood up and tore the mistletoe down in annoyance. Before he could throw it on the floor, though, he brought it up to his face, turning it over with a disturbed expression. "This isn't mistletoe… It really isn't mistletoe…"

Kuroo bent over, carefully avoiding contact with him as he looked around his arm. He scowled. "This is just a branch off the bush outside."

Akaashi and Taketora started to snicker. 

"Serves you right," Akaashi muttered. Bokuto shot him a betrayed look, tilting his head and twisting his mouth into a sullen line. 

Kenma stood up and reached for the table platter of food. "I'm hungry."

Kuroo gulped, desperate to get everyone's mind off of the kiss. "No, now's not the time to be hungry, Kenma. We're going to have that snowball fight, right now."

Taketora perked up. "Finally!" He jumped to his feet and whooped, first one out the door to the backyard. 

Kenma paused. "I'm really hungry."

"Should have thought of that before you laughed at us." Kuroo stood up and nudged him after Taketora. The others followed Kenma, preventing him from going back for the food.

Bokuto and Kuroo were the last to get outside. They straggled behind, hovering by the door and almost bumping into each other.

Bokuto scratched his head. "So, that thing that happened back there."

"Stop." Kuroo raised a hand. "We're not going to talk about this."

"Yeah. Good. That's what I was going to say." He gave a nervous little laugh, and Kuroo patted him on the shoulder.

"Y-yeah, I agree."

"Good. Glad that's settled, then, p-pal." Bokuto gave him a light sock to the arm, leaving Kuroo to rub it with a sour look as he watched Bokuto step onto the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> Mhm, sure, but they'll never forget it.
> 
> (General A/N that exists at the end of all my fics): I find unsolicited concrit really rude, I'm not looking for any. Please don't tell me someone was OOC/something happened you didn't like/it's too short/etc. in any bookmarks or comments.


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